7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things that first come to mind. One misconception is that you think you always need to spice things up. The fact is predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. Therefore, the following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, you should be predictable. This goes against the conventional wisdom that you need to “stir things up” to keep the excitement and romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being dependeable and reliable day in and day out.

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Next, you need to make sure that your words match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words and see that they match your body language. If you say you are happy but in reality you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, they see your face and hear the tone in your voice, discounting what you say. Your partner's needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s abilities. Otherwise, you won’t have the required trust in a relationship. When lovingly communicated, the truth is seldom destructive to the relationship. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things, you violate the trust in a relationship.

Never keep secrets. Secrets destroy trust in a relationship. You must remain honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come to light. Keep in mind that secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to communicate to your partners know what your needs are. Don’ t keep them guessing about what you need. Mkae them aware. It is okay to be foucused on yourself as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go excessively in the opposite direction and instead smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, this is good. But you don’t say yes to everything. Your partner will not respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes be a dirty affair. But, through that dirt, we prep the soil for future growth. Don’t fear turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the catalyst for growth and change.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your bond with each other.

7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

John works a lot of hours and Mary doesn’t feel he is there for her needs. On the other hand, Mary spends all of her time dealing with the children’s needs and John feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved? What about the children?

First, you must analyze whether the relationship is indeed worth saving. While just about every relationship can be saved with the right dedication and hard work, a couple must commit to making it work. Because if a partner has made a choice to opt out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is not much can be done and it's probably futile trying to overcome it.

Many people choose to stay in a relationship because it is convenient and they fear being alone or they remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. saving a relationship starts with a realization by the couple that the relationship is worth saving.

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Next, you must pinpoint the problems in the relationship. One of the biggest problems in saving a relationship is that people mistake the symptoms of the problem for the problem itself.

For instance, many people presume an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For example, an absence of intimacy can lead a spouse top stray. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the core issue - a dearth of physical intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the underlying cause.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the issues at heart, you can begin to share your thoughts and feelings. This means talking about your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even if your emotions are swirling. and you're not entirely comfortable. When your partner talks about things that hurt you keep in mind that they are not doing it because they want to hurt you. Instead, it is because they want to improve the relationship.


Once you have noted and detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to address each issue and solve it. Next, take concrete steps toward completing your action plan. Create scenarios that enable you to succeed. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend evenings together. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. Then, just do it, consistently.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You might take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Remember - be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, consider these effective methods to get it back on track.

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