7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

John works a lot of hours and Mary doesn’t feel he is there for her needs. On the other hand, Mary spends all of her time dealing with the children’s needs and John feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved? What about the children?

First, you must analyze whether the relationship is indeed worth saving. While just about every relationship can be saved with the right dedication and hard work, a couple must commit to making it work. Because if a partner has made a choice to opt out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is not much can be done and it's probably futile trying to overcome it.

Many people choose to stay in a relationship because it is convenient and they fear being alone or they remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. saving a relationship starts with a realization by the couple that the relationship is worth saving.

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Next, you must pinpoint the problems in the relationship. One of the biggest problems in saving a relationship is that people mistake the symptoms of the problem for the problem itself.

For instance, many people presume an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For example, an absence of intimacy can lead a spouse top stray. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the core issue - a dearth of physical intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the underlying cause.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the issues at heart, you can begin to share your thoughts and feelings. This means talking about your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even if your emotions are swirling. and you're not entirely comfortable. When your partner talks about things that hurt you keep in mind that they are not doing it because they want to hurt you. Instead, it is because they want to improve the relationship.


Once you have noted and detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to address each issue and solve it. Next, take concrete steps toward completing your action plan. Create scenarios that enable you to succeed. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend evenings together. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. Then, just do it, consistently.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You might take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Remember - be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, consider these effective methods to get it back on track.

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